From fat to fit ~ it is so much more than physical

January 2009 I decided to lose weight. I knew I was unhealthy. The litany of health concerns were strikingly like that of an unaware 68 year old woman and no longer something I could ignore or excuse.

Elevated blood pressure – to the extent that Emergency Room visits occurred at least twice.

Elevated Triglycerides and Cholesterol. My blood literally appeared fatty

instead of clear and fluid. Gross!

Chronic dizziness. 2 car wrecks, walking into walls, multiple stops by police, and falling down at work. Not fun.

Chronic ankle swelling controlled by medication

Insomnia

Elevated blood sugar Decreased self esteem a generally crappy attitude and a self imposed level of stress that was sad.

For me to even spend the night out of town for one evening required an entire bag of medications that could have competed with most drug stores.

My doctors were polite enough about it. Not one of them ever said, “if you would just loose the weight” about resolving any of the concerns. No, they never said anything all that helpful. Instead, they prescribed medications and made more appointments. That was not really working, so instead I made appointments for myself at the gym.

The group I was working out with was varied. Some had physical injuries to tend to, some had emotional fears to get past, some were just trying to figure it all out. I was one of them. How had this happened? How had I gone from a spry 16 year old that played volleyball with enthusiasm, dated and had a fun circle of friends; to a wandering 20 something, US Amy Reservist, curious about what life would have in store for me; to a scared 30 something, knowing that I had somehow lost track of my strong suits and now literally wore very large suits.

From January 2009 – May 2009 I worked out as if my life depended on it, and I do think that it did. I was on a mission. I even had family come into town on surprise visits and would simply NOT skip a workout while they were here to share time with me. They were gracious; they respected that I had a lot going on with school, work, and my dedication to get healthy. But, the fact that I had gotten myself into such a mess spoke volumes, and still no one really said how far I had gone off track.

May 2009 came and the folks I had been working out with were faced with the opportunity to make one amazing change. We had the chance to stop working out and instead get CrossFit. Huh?

By then I was no longer taking the medication for blood pressure or for fluid retention. I had not yet learned a thing about my food choices, but I had gained a return to joy in JamieLand. I was finding that sweat was actually good for you, injuries were not a reason to not work out, and a committment to yourself is incredibly important.

So, this CrossFit thing came up. And I jumped in. I learned that being strong is not really impressive to me. Nor is the ability to run and run and run and run long distances. But, being fit is amazing! The chance to be strong AND be able to run long distances would prove to be invaluable. Turns out that CrossFit would rehab me right out of the majority of the dizzy spells far better than the drugs or therapy had done.

But, still, I had this thing with food. Ok, I have a big thing with food. When I am bored, or lonely, or stressed, or happy, or sleepy, I eat. Nachos are the best thing ever intented. They fill my tummy and my heart. While I was happier and healthier, the next key for me to turn would be my relationship with food.

And so, since September 2009 I have been working on that. Nachos will always have a place in my heart, but not in my hands. At least not every other day. It turns out that, at least for me, being fat was not the worst thing in the world. The worst thing was NOT being fit, not having my own self respect, not understanding why I chose the foods that I did, why I sometimes ate without even making that action a choice, and not knowing how foods impact my mood, and my health. It is amazing to me that I could actually lose 40 pounds, and then when hit with one too many life challenges, actually permit myself to gain all of that back. Clearly, I had had successes or I would not have lost that 40, but had missed out on something key. Food. It is a key, for me. Some people battle alcohol, some people battle with faith, I battle with food.

We all have a burden. Not everyone has CrossFit. For me, CrossFit has been more than just physical. It has been an amazing learning curve. It has taught me about measuring successes, being honest about your efforts, and that working out is better for us than just well defined abs or biceps popping out of your short sleeved shirt. It is about community, and team work, and change. We may all be seeking different changes - increased strength, decreased body fat, increased cardio capacity, etc. I am looking for all of that, and more. And, because I am looking for it within the CrossFit community, I will find it. And in the mean time I will continue to learn more about food, how it impacts me and my health, and I will continue to post recipes for you to try.

Given the way food impacts me, the recipes I try out are foods that serve me well. They do not generally include sugars or dairy. Until I get my blood lipds and sugars under control and my wishy washy relationship with food is more consistent, I am going to enjoy learning about what the alternatives are that leave me feeling full and proud of what I just ate.

What are you hungry for? Don't think just food, think about what fuels you, your inner athlete, your level of satisfaction with yourself. I am willing to bet that for each of us, getting fit involves far more than just NOT being fat and are not solely related to the amount of time we spend in the gym.